and my eyes have slid to the floor and my mouth has mumbled a hesitant “thank you”.
But my eyes do not see the goodness you see in me.
Their lenses have been tinted with the criticism, words, and thoughts I have experienced throughout life, and when I look in the mirror what I take in is the flaws: there and there and there and there…
The list goes on.
I know all too well of my imperfectness and I have a difficult time accepting it. I’ve looked in the mirror and have been brought to tears by what I’ve seen. I’ve been so full of hate and anger towards myself and this body that I’m in and I am only starting to rebuild the confidence and carelessness I had as a child. Because I am sick of the hating, I am sick of the anger. I need to accept who I am physically and mentally and this step towards growth is going to be difficult but I just want to love myself again. I want to see the goodness and take away the tint of hatred in my eyes. I am me and I want to start being me unapologetically. I will accept a compliment no longer with my eyes on the floor but with a smile of gratification on my face.
e.k.s., Tinted Eyes